Due to ease of use I've moved the blog to here
http://mclaneinc.wordpress.com/
Sorry
Sunday, 20 March 2011
Ack, how do I reply to comments.
Trying to work out why I can't reply to a comment directly..
To answer the one left re Depression, I avoid public transport as much as possible, any appointments I try and make for mid morn / mid afternoon so to be on the quietest times.
To answer the one left re Depression, I avoid public transport as much as possible, any appointments I try and make for mid morn / mid afternoon so to be on the quietest times.
Saturday, 19 March 2011
Struggling with depression and mental illness.
Christ, not another cheery subject you say, and its true, there's sod all happy about depression and mental illness but maybe I can give you an idea of what it does to you and how you can interact easier with a sufferer.
I first started feeling depressed around 1992, certain large scale mentally destructive incidents happened 2 years later, these were major events that blew my tiny world apart. Sadly I was never treated for depression for 14 yrs, I had been given sleeping tablets but they were useless.
Other medical conditions have left me needing to take per day 60mg of Citalopram, a strong anti depressant, 200mg of Tramadol, a very strong painkiller, 150mg of Diclofenac, another painkiller, effervescent Co-Codamol made up into a 2 litre bottle as needed, Ketoprofen gel to help with pain relief of my spine and lastly 20mg of Propranalol which is a beta blocker to help with the irregular heat beat partially caused by the anti depressant.
Quite a large cocktail there but I still suffer huge levels of pain, the anti depressant merely takes 'the edge off', it does not stop the massive mood swings, the wish to remain indoors, the fear of crowds, the self loathing or the wish to be alone for large periods of time. Between the depression and the medical issues I can't work, the cervicular spondylosis in my kneck makes even sitting here typing this hell, I've got blown knee's from taking the pee out of them when I was younger, it really DOES catch up with you...Always..
So, what's a day like for me?
Well sleep or the simple trials of sleep are hell for me, I have severe nightmares every night, I relive episodes I'd rather forget every night so sleep is as and when but never fun. I'm often up at 4am unable or in some cases unwilling to return to sleep. I'll drag it on until about 6 and then come into the bedroom where the PC is, because of the mattress I can't sleep in our bed, I have to use the couch in the front room, also the nightmares are often physical and I lash out so a tad unfair for my wife to put up with.
I'll then do my usual scout of sites, the internet is my treat, its the one luxury I have, I don't go out much, never been a pub bloke unless playing pool and cinema's are too uncomfortable because of the crowds and the people whole do my head in so that and the lack of cash mean this flat is my life. After a short time I'll get too paned to use the PC so I'll lay down for a while, not sleep, just rest the pain. IF its been a better night I might take my daughter to school but that's a rare treat as I'm normally pretty pained and not up to being with the outside world.
I'll spend most of the day either resting from the pain or on the PC, at 7pm I hand the PC over to my lovely daughter, she's bright as a button and even at 11 is showing great design and mild business skills yet retaining her love of being a child, she's not going to miss out on that and become an 11 yr old smoker covered in make up like most on the estate.
By 10pm I'm ready to sleep but knowing I'll get little or none.
That's a good day, the bad day of which they are many will be a roller coaster of mood swings and pain, these are the days where nothing is fun, where the thought of being alive stinks, where every movement seems to be painful. I try and keep to myself on days like this, its unfair to anyone around me on these days as I'll snap at the smallest item, shout and be a complete prat and then the sadness sets in, I'd not wish that on anyone, its pure hell. I twice tried to end it all and failed, I have on several occasions sat down giving it serious thought but the love of my wife and daughter always make the thoughts go away, hopefully I avoid them seeing me in that state.
I've learned to deal with the effects of mental illness over the years, my mother suffered from it for all her life until she died from dementia in 2001, trust me, anyone dealing with a person with dementia especially if they are your parent is a nightmare, I looked after my mother for years day in day out before she died, I can tell you it was some of the most distressing times I've felt.
But seeing how her illness affected her earlier life allowed me to try and adjust my life so it wasn't as bad, it rarely worked but at least I had an understanding of it all.
How does the depression and all it's side effects affect how I deal with people?
That's a tough one, I suffer from an inability to handle responsibility, this results from one of those epic events back in 1992, some might think its a cop out but trust me its not. If I see a brown envelope I break out in sweats, I cannot fill forms in, not even my daughters report book, my hands shake so I can't write. If my wife asks me to fix something I'm stressed out, I sweat buckets but If I'm doing something that's purely for me I'm fine, I just can't handle the idea of failing and letting someone down. Communication is an issue if I'm stressed, I suddenly forget simple words, I start to stammer even though I've never suffered from one before, I then must remove myself from the situation as I'm litterally soaked in sweat and my face is bright red, the more stressed the worse it gets and people staring at you does not help.
If all this is done at my pace I'm fine for the most part, I get by but the memory loss is quite embarrassing at times, people think you are taking the pee but I'm not.
The mood swings are by far the worst side effect, I can be incredibly happy, a little too happy to be honest, but when the anger gets me then its hell, I NEVER take it out on my wife or daughter, that's one control I've effected in the old noggin but strangers get the brunt of it if they are being a dick head, sadly for them and me I live on a council estate full of dick heads, all fear goes from me at these times which will one day be deadly to me, I'll square up to 20+ youths causing trouble, its got me a reputation for taking no sh*t in the area but if only people realised what powered it and the way I feel afterwards when the stupidity bravery has worn off, I'm sick as a dog.
If only they realised that one kick to my knee or a blow to my back would leave me totally defenceless, thank hell they have not spotted that...yet.
So, living with all this isn't fun, having time to think is hell for me, I have to try and preoccupy my time so I don't dwell, during session with my shrink I get told "well that was in the past, put it behind you" and I keep telling them that the second I sleep everything is brought back to me like it was yesterday, every little detail is crystal clear if not exaggerated to make the nightmare even worse.
For me, its never in the past, its just another day the day after it happened.
So, as you can tell life can be a right pig, I try and keep the brain ticking over the right way but life just loves to throw stuff at you like developing tinnitus, talk about irritation with no cure.
Life for me is a long painful slog, people think it's great not to work but it's not, it only gives me more time to hate the life I have, when I've worked I was always giving 200%, I've always been a very hard worker, I put my back and head into work, no avoiding the hard graft, I did whatever job paid the bills, everything form Branch management, PC PROPER IT support and building, making furniture right down to lugging steels around on sites, always in the thick of it.
So being so useless now really affects the mind and that's without the illnesses I have, they only make it all feel 100X harder to deal with...
Cheery isn't it....
I first started feeling depressed around 1992, certain large scale mentally destructive incidents happened 2 years later, these were major events that blew my tiny world apart. Sadly I was never treated for depression for 14 yrs, I had been given sleeping tablets but they were useless.
Other medical conditions have left me needing to take per day 60mg of Citalopram, a strong anti depressant, 200mg of Tramadol, a very strong painkiller, 150mg of Diclofenac, another painkiller, effervescent Co-Codamol made up into a 2 litre bottle as needed, Ketoprofen gel to help with pain relief of my spine and lastly 20mg of Propranalol which is a beta blocker to help with the irregular heat beat partially caused by the anti depressant.
Quite a large cocktail there but I still suffer huge levels of pain, the anti depressant merely takes 'the edge off', it does not stop the massive mood swings, the wish to remain indoors, the fear of crowds, the self loathing or the wish to be alone for large periods of time. Between the depression and the medical issues I can't work, the cervicular spondylosis in my kneck makes even sitting here typing this hell, I've got blown knee's from taking the pee out of them when I was younger, it really DOES catch up with you...Always..
So, what's a day like for me?
Well sleep or the simple trials of sleep are hell for me, I have severe nightmares every night, I relive episodes I'd rather forget every night so sleep is as and when but never fun. I'm often up at 4am unable or in some cases unwilling to return to sleep. I'll drag it on until about 6 and then come into the bedroom where the PC is, because of the mattress I can't sleep in our bed, I have to use the couch in the front room, also the nightmares are often physical and I lash out so a tad unfair for my wife to put up with.
I'll then do my usual scout of sites, the internet is my treat, its the one luxury I have, I don't go out much, never been a pub bloke unless playing pool and cinema's are too uncomfortable because of the crowds and the people whole do my head in so that and the lack of cash mean this flat is my life. After a short time I'll get too paned to use the PC so I'll lay down for a while, not sleep, just rest the pain. IF its been a better night I might take my daughter to school but that's a rare treat as I'm normally pretty pained and not up to being with the outside world.
I'll spend most of the day either resting from the pain or on the PC, at 7pm I hand the PC over to my lovely daughter, she's bright as a button and even at 11 is showing great design and mild business skills yet retaining her love of being a child, she's not going to miss out on that and become an 11 yr old smoker covered in make up like most on the estate.
By 10pm I'm ready to sleep but knowing I'll get little or none.
That's a good day, the bad day of which they are many will be a roller coaster of mood swings and pain, these are the days where nothing is fun, where the thought of being alive stinks, where every movement seems to be painful. I try and keep to myself on days like this, its unfair to anyone around me on these days as I'll snap at the smallest item, shout and be a complete prat and then the sadness sets in, I'd not wish that on anyone, its pure hell. I twice tried to end it all and failed, I have on several occasions sat down giving it serious thought but the love of my wife and daughter always make the thoughts go away, hopefully I avoid them seeing me in that state.
I've learned to deal with the effects of mental illness over the years, my mother suffered from it for all her life until she died from dementia in 2001, trust me, anyone dealing with a person with dementia especially if they are your parent is a nightmare, I looked after my mother for years day in day out before she died, I can tell you it was some of the most distressing times I've felt.
But seeing how her illness affected her earlier life allowed me to try and adjust my life so it wasn't as bad, it rarely worked but at least I had an understanding of it all.
How does the depression and all it's side effects affect how I deal with people?
That's a tough one, I suffer from an inability to handle responsibility, this results from one of those epic events back in 1992, some might think its a cop out but trust me its not. If I see a brown envelope I break out in sweats, I cannot fill forms in, not even my daughters report book, my hands shake so I can't write. If my wife asks me to fix something I'm stressed out, I sweat buckets but If I'm doing something that's purely for me I'm fine, I just can't handle the idea of failing and letting someone down. Communication is an issue if I'm stressed, I suddenly forget simple words, I start to stammer even though I've never suffered from one before, I then must remove myself from the situation as I'm litterally soaked in sweat and my face is bright red, the more stressed the worse it gets and people staring at you does not help.
If all this is done at my pace I'm fine for the most part, I get by but the memory loss is quite embarrassing at times, people think you are taking the pee but I'm not.
The mood swings are by far the worst side effect, I can be incredibly happy, a little too happy to be honest, but when the anger gets me then its hell, I NEVER take it out on my wife or daughter, that's one control I've effected in the old noggin but strangers get the brunt of it if they are being a dick head, sadly for them and me I live on a council estate full of dick heads, all fear goes from me at these times which will one day be deadly to me, I'll square up to 20+ youths causing trouble, its got me a reputation for taking no sh*t in the area but if only people realised what powered it and the way I feel afterwards when the stupidity bravery has worn off, I'm sick as a dog.
If only they realised that one kick to my knee or a blow to my back would leave me totally defenceless, thank hell they have not spotted that...yet.
So, living with all this isn't fun, having time to think is hell for me, I have to try and preoccupy my time so I don't dwell, during session with my shrink I get told "well that was in the past, put it behind you" and I keep telling them that the second I sleep everything is brought back to me like it was yesterday, every little detail is crystal clear if not exaggerated to make the nightmare even worse.
For me, its never in the past, its just another day the day after it happened.
So, as you can tell life can be a right pig, I try and keep the brain ticking over the right way but life just loves to throw stuff at you like developing tinnitus, talk about irritation with no cure.
Life for me is a long painful slog, people think it's great not to work but it's not, it only gives me more time to hate the life I have, when I've worked I was always giving 200%, I've always been a very hard worker, I put my back and head into work, no avoiding the hard graft, I did whatever job paid the bills, everything form Branch management, PC PROPER IT support and building, making furniture right down to lugging steels around on sites, always in the thick of it.
So being so useless now really affects the mind and that's without the illnesses I have, they only make it all feel 100X harder to deal with...
Cheery isn't it....
Blog update
Gave you some fish to play with...ahhh
Added the follow by email gadget, just add your email and you will get updates that way.
I'm just too kind...
Added the follow by email gadget, just add your email and you will get updates that way.
I'm just too kind...
Friday, 18 March 2011
Let there be games...
Not a rant this time, more of a fond look back at the start of the home computer age in my time.
Everyone these days has a computer and most likely a console blasting its state of the art graphics and sound, you can spend the night killing the Russian army, winning the World Cup, jump up and down like a crazed tele tubbie or save the universe all in stunning high def...
The kids take all this for granted but us older ones know it was very different back then at the dawn of home computing. I started out with a ZX80, a diy computer from Sinclair Research, I later upgraded to a ZX81, a prebuilt box of magic with a heady 1K of memory, at the time I thought all these bar charts and pie charts were built in and didn't realise you had to actually type them in, oh the let down...
But those sparked my interest in the workings of a computer, my next beast was a Commodore Vic20, I'd seen a little shop called the Vic centre behind the BBC props place in North Acton, in there was a couple of nice helpful blokes and what seemed a mad hippie customer, I'd spend ages in there chatting games and such, looking at the mad hippies game demo's, by then I had stop calling him a mad hippie and learnt that his name was Jeff, nice guy if not slightly odd. It was then I met my brother whom I'd not seen for around 10yrs when he left home, we somehow sat next to each other in the Leicester Square Odeon watching Blade Runner, that's when I saw one of my 3 favourite home computers ever, the Atari 8bit, it was amazing, I was seeing games far better and more pretty than any I had seen before. The Atari then became my life, I was approached by Maplin Electronic to become their technical salesman in Hammersmith West London, they had no one who really knew much about the machine so I went from teaching handicapped children to selling and teaching about the Atari.
Before I knew it I was writing for Atari User, another trade mag and very firmly in 'the scene' which bordered both sides of the Atari world, the nice legal stuff and the naughty pirate side, the scene was not as mad as today, most people knew of the others and had mates who knew them and so forth. I met a load of the programmers of some cracking games via Maplin, I also got friendly with an old mate who became the first person in Britain to be taken to court for selling copies of code from Atari 8bit cartridges, he advertised them in Exchange & Mart.
Bit silly that...
Eventually I decided to get a Commodore 64, I bumped into my old mate Jeff from before but by then he was more famous for programming as his last name was Minter, Jeff Minter. Had a great deal of fun on that, met a load of sceners and then moved onto the Commodore Amiga, a peach of a computer, this was when I got serious into what a computer could do, before I had programmed, hacked, cheated games and generally just played but with the Amiga I could do art, sample music at a good Hz level and got into 3D modeling.
Sadly Commodore screwed the Amiga and I had to turn to a PC, the good old bloated PC, a dinosaur of architecture these days but it does what I need.
Thankfully my love of all things retro has carried on by the stunning work of emulator writers, my old Atari 8bit is now revived in an emulator called Altirra, its perfect, my old Amiga is there as WinUae, another fantastic emu that works just like the original, all the old games perfectly emulated, good time!
For the old arcade titles I use MAME, a rather bloated but good bit of software that runs a fantastic range of 70's - 90's games almost perfectly in most cases. The importance of these emulators is that they allow you to see some of the most playable games there have ever been, games written in 8K or less that recreated arcade titles of the day. Today we have the Xbox360, PS3 and PC running very pretty games but these youth will never ever feel what I did when I was there as the home computer and arcades were born, there simply was nothing before them, we watched the birth of games in electronic format and it was a fantastic experience that these kids take for granted.
And they played like little gem, sometime people say rose tinted specs but I defy someone to sit down with an emulated Super Nintendo and play Super Mario and not get a kick out of it, to sit down and play Star Raiders on an Atari 8 bit and not get hooked, to not love Jumpman on all formats, a game whose looks are laughable to today's polished eye candybut its got 'just one more go' dripping off it.
I love my Xbox360 and games like Modern Warfare 2, they are mind blowing but I'll never forget my gaming roots as there are some total gems still sitting there begging to be played just one more time....
Everyone these days has a computer and most likely a console blasting its state of the art graphics and sound, you can spend the night killing the Russian army, winning the World Cup, jump up and down like a crazed tele tubbie or save the universe all in stunning high def...
The kids take all this for granted but us older ones know it was very different back then at the dawn of home computing. I started out with a ZX80, a diy computer from Sinclair Research, I later upgraded to a ZX81, a prebuilt box of magic with a heady 1K of memory, at the time I thought all these bar charts and pie charts were built in and didn't realise you had to actually type them in, oh the let down...
But those sparked my interest in the workings of a computer, my next beast was a Commodore Vic20, I'd seen a little shop called the Vic centre behind the BBC props place in North Acton, in there was a couple of nice helpful blokes and what seemed a mad hippie customer, I'd spend ages in there chatting games and such, looking at the mad hippies game demo's, by then I had stop calling him a mad hippie and learnt that his name was Jeff, nice guy if not slightly odd. It was then I met my brother whom I'd not seen for around 10yrs when he left home, we somehow sat next to each other in the Leicester Square Odeon watching Blade Runner, that's when I saw one of my 3 favourite home computers ever, the Atari 8bit, it was amazing, I was seeing games far better and more pretty than any I had seen before. The Atari then became my life, I was approached by Maplin Electronic to become their technical salesman in Hammersmith West London, they had no one who really knew much about the machine so I went from teaching handicapped children to selling and teaching about the Atari.
Before I knew it I was writing for Atari User, another trade mag and very firmly in 'the scene' which bordered both sides of the Atari world, the nice legal stuff and the naughty pirate side, the scene was not as mad as today, most people knew of the others and had mates who knew them and so forth. I met a load of the programmers of some cracking games via Maplin, I also got friendly with an old mate who became the first person in Britain to be taken to court for selling copies of code from Atari 8bit cartridges, he advertised them in Exchange & Mart.
Bit silly that...
Eventually I decided to get a Commodore 64, I bumped into my old mate Jeff from before but by then he was more famous for programming as his last name was Minter, Jeff Minter. Had a great deal of fun on that, met a load of sceners and then moved onto the Commodore Amiga, a peach of a computer, this was when I got serious into what a computer could do, before I had programmed, hacked, cheated games and generally just played but with the Amiga I could do art, sample music at a good Hz level and got into 3D modeling.
Sadly Commodore screwed the Amiga and I had to turn to a PC, the good old bloated PC, a dinosaur of architecture these days but it does what I need.
Thankfully my love of all things retro has carried on by the stunning work of emulator writers, my old Atari 8bit is now revived in an emulator called Altirra, its perfect, my old Amiga is there as WinUae, another fantastic emu that works just like the original, all the old games perfectly emulated, good time!
For the old arcade titles I use MAME, a rather bloated but good bit of software that runs a fantastic range of 70's - 90's games almost perfectly in most cases. The importance of these emulators is that they allow you to see some of the most playable games there have ever been, games written in 8K or less that recreated arcade titles of the day. Today we have the Xbox360, PS3 and PC running very pretty games but these youth will never ever feel what I did when I was there as the home computer and arcades were born, there simply was nothing before them, we watched the birth of games in electronic format and it was a fantastic experience that these kids take for granted.
And they played like little gem, sometime people say rose tinted specs but I defy someone to sit down with an emulated Super Nintendo and play Super Mario and not get a kick out of it, to sit down and play Star Raiders on an Atari 8 bit and not get hooked, to not love Jumpman on all formats, a game whose looks are laughable to today's polished eye candybut its got 'just one more go' dripping off it.
I love my Xbox360 and games like Modern Warfare 2, they are mind blowing but I'll never forget my gaming roots as there are some total gems still sitting there begging to be played just one more time....
Why are people told to believe in God?
I'll tell you what I do really believe in, and I know it to be real and many believe in it too.
CONTROL....
Take all your gods, church systems, different faiths and so and and so forth and what you will have at the end of them all is a control system that the person must follow or they will be struck down in some form. Sorry, that'sa control system long before you attach any faith to it.
Look at what is going on in the world, humans have followed their faiths and beg their god to come down and fix all these problems going on in the world, it seems that calling is on deaf ears so we have started to see a new 'hope', a hope that aliens will come down and fix stuff for us.
Who is next on the lists of something people are going to put faith in rather than deal with it themselves.
I've been a victim of religion thanks to different religion parents in Northern Ireland, I've had the nuns tie my left hand behind my back to force me to use the right one because of some daft religious belief fostered by various religions, I guess I was lucky to have been born in 1961 as a few hundred years before and I would have been burnt as a with I guess.
So stop being lazy, deal with your own life, stop trying to get someone to fell you what you need to do, make the changes you need by common sense and not because a little book tells you its a sin.
CONTROL....
Take all your gods, church systems, different faiths and so and and so forth and what you will have at the end of them all is a control system that the person must follow or they will be struck down in some form. Sorry, that'sa control system long before you attach any faith to it.
Look at what is going on in the world, humans have followed their faiths and beg their god to come down and fix all these problems going on in the world, it seems that calling is on deaf ears so we have started to see a new 'hope', a hope that aliens will come down and fix stuff for us.
Who is next on the lists of something people are going to put faith in rather than deal with it themselves.
I've been a victim of religion thanks to different religion parents in Northern Ireland, I've had the nuns tie my left hand behind my back to force me to use the right one because of some daft religious belief fostered by various religions, I guess I was lucky to have been born in 1961 as a few hundred years before and I would have been burnt as a with I guess.
So stop being lazy, deal with your own life, stop trying to get someone to fell you what you need to do, make the changes you need by common sense and not because a little book tells you its a sin.
Thursday, 17 March 2011
Aliens as in the UFO kind...
I post on ATS (www.abovetopsecret.com) as I have an interest in the high possibility of alien life and UFO's, mathematics alone say we cannot be alone in all these universes, something simply has to be out there in all this space and time.
I've seen what would be called a UFO but I believe as does my wife who saw it as well that it was a huge triangular military craft so the subject interests me. Now we get a lot of people on the forums who watch films like ID4, ALiens, ET etc and post what if questions about what aliens would do if they came here so it made me think and write this little bit.
That's the problem with watching films about aliens, they are either good or real bad, how about another possibility, indifferent aliens?
Aliens that simply could not give a damn about us, look at us as stupid bugs that have infested and destroyed their own world and they just see us as what we are, insignificant specks not worth the time of day. They come here from time to time see what we are up to and then quite rightly leave us to be, why would they want to contaminate their culture with our destructive ungrateful ways.
Lets look at the other two choices..
Bad Aliens....
If they have managed to get to us then their tech is far ahead of us so it goes to reason that if they are bad they have the potential to be VERY bad and wipe us out at the press of a button. The only reason not to do that would be that they have a use for us, be it workers or parts. But that's where it breaks down, if these craft are bad and have been coming for so long then why are we still here and why have we no better proof of them. A race with that much power would not need to court with our leaders (who ever that is), the simple appearance of these aliens would be enough and they could do as they please.
But unless they are playing the long game of which I see no reason to then I doubt they are bad and I revert back to the indifferent alien view point.
Good Aliens...
Aliens again markedly more advanced than us, perhaps with tech that could help us survive, reverse thedamage to the planet, clean up our oceans etc etc etc..
But why are they waiting to do it?
We have pretty much tried to destroy each other with man made viruses, attempting to control the weather, making bigger and more destructive weapons and attempting very dangerous scientific experiments where any failure could be a world ending event.
So why are they waiting and watching, our people and planet are in one hell of a state but yet these aliens come and go and watch...
Why?
Again, I revert back to my indifferent aliens, ones that just watch with no real interest in us other than a morbid fascination with creatures that self destruct.
I've seen what would be called a UFO but I believe as does my wife who saw it as well that it was a huge triangular military craft so the subject interests me. Now we get a lot of people on the forums who watch films like ID4, ALiens, ET etc and post what if questions about what aliens would do if they came here so it made me think and write this little bit.
That's the problem with watching films about aliens, they are either good or real bad, how about another possibility, indifferent aliens?
Aliens that simply could not give a damn about us, look at us as stupid bugs that have infested and destroyed their own world and they just see us as what we are, insignificant specks not worth the time of day. They come here from time to time see what we are up to and then quite rightly leave us to be, why would they want to contaminate their culture with our destructive ungrateful ways.
Lets look at the other two choices..
Bad Aliens....
If they have managed to get to us then their tech is far ahead of us so it goes to reason that if they are bad they have the potential to be VERY bad and wipe us out at the press of a button. The only reason not to do that would be that they have a use for us, be it workers or parts. But that's where it breaks down, if these craft are bad and have been coming for so long then why are we still here and why have we no better proof of them. A race with that much power would not need to court with our leaders (who ever that is), the simple appearance of these aliens would be enough and they could do as they please.
But unless they are playing the long game of which I see no reason to then I doubt they are bad and I revert back to the indifferent alien view point.
Good Aliens...
Aliens again markedly more advanced than us, perhaps with tech that could help us survive, reverse thedamage to the planet, clean up our oceans etc etc etc..
But why are they waiting to do it?
We have pretty much tried to destroy each other with man made viruses, attempting to control the weather, making bigger and more destructive weapons and attempting very dangerous scientific experiments where any failure could be a world ending event.
So why are they waiting and watching, our people and planet are in one hell of a state but yet these aliens come and go and watch...
Why?
Again, I revert back to my indifferent aliens, ones that just watch with no real interest in us other than a morbid fascination with creatures that self destruct.
Another example of down trodden Brits
An East End gay pride march has been scuppered because one of the organisers was once in the EDL and it was feared it might be used to offend Muslims.
The reason for the march was in response to homophobic stickers been planted on pubs and a school in the East End, the stickers said "arise and warn. Gay free zone. Verily Allah is severe in punishment" so you can see who was posting them right there.
So what we have here is gay brits being bullied into not voicing their opinion because people might upset some Muslims, wrong, the point is to upset the the radical idiots who think they can tell people where to go. I'm not gay myself although I've been told "don't knock it till you have tried it" but I've got no reason to have any grudges or bad feeling about a persons sexual orientation and don't see why they should not protest about some fuzzy faced little vermin with 1st century beliefs brainwashed into them.
What follows the stickers, almost certainly Muslim gay bashing squads, come on, we have got rid of gay bashers almost entirely and now a new culture is being allowed to form.
Yet again Brits are being encouraged to 'back down' to prevent annoying one single culture who should themselves be policing these trouble makers themselves, yet choose to turn a blind eye or worse, support their views.
The reason for the march was in response to homophobic stickers been planted on pubs and a school in the East End, the stickers said "arise and warn. Gay free zone. Verily Allah is severe in punishment" so you can see who was posting them right there.
So what we have here is gay brits being bullied into not voicing their opinion because people might upset some Muslims, wrong, the point is to upset the the radical idiots who think they can tell people where to go. I'm not gay myself although I've been told "don't knock it till you have tried it" but I've got no reason to have any grudges or bad feeling about a persons sexual orientation and don't see why they should not protest about some fuzzy faced little vermin with 1st century beliefs brainwashed into them.
What follows the stickers, almost certainly Muslim gay bashing squads, come on, we have got rid of gay bashers almost entirely and now a new culture is being allowed to form.
Yet again Brits are being encouraged to 'back down' to prevent annoying one single culture who should themselves be policing these trouble makers themselves, yet choose to turn a blind eye or worse, support their views.
Britain, the free bank account to the world.
I read the BBC website every day just to pass the time, its a fairly ok media place with no stand out bias, so worth the read. While there today I spotted that one of the three banned Pakistani cricketers at the centre of a corruption scandal has applied for legal aid to fight his case.
Call me old fashioned but why should the UK tax payer foot the bill for his and it seems the other two involved who are looking to follow suit, why?
He's a well paid (until caught cheating) Pakistani national, why isn't he being made to apply to Pakistan for his legal aid, why does the UK get to foot his attempt to dodge the very obvious fraud him and his mates have been caught doing. I could be wrong but apparently the UK is in the grip of an economic downturn, huge cuts are being made across the board (except with the bloody thieving MP's) and everyone is struggling yet it looks like a couple of million plus could be wasted paying for these cricketers trying to dodge justice.
Are we mad??
Yes of course we are, this stupid country gives 445 MILLION in aid to Pakistan, one of the worlds top corrupt countries, do you really think any of that cash gets to poor people. You also have to ask WHY we give aid to countries yet the people in the UK are struggling for housing, homeless people roam the streets, well except in the London borough of Westminster where they are moved on and denied soup kitchens because they are an embarrassment to the local rich and elite, they can't have poor people mucking up the roads now can they. Why do we fund other countries when its clear charity should begin at home.
This week a member of the Christian church attacked the government for being 'anti Christian' with their aid policy because Pakistan is allowing the victimising of Christians by Muslims, people are being killed, churches are being destroyed and forced conversion to the Muslim religion are common place while Britain just looks on giving them aid packages. I personally follow no religion and wish they were banned but the fact we are pumping money into one of the worlds most radical Islamic cultures sickens me, especially as this same rotten culture is trying to over run the UK and remove our culture.
So the UK, why do you let these MP's give your money away, why do you sit back and watch this happen..
Get off your bums and make some noise, give your MP grief, write to the useless buggers, email them, do whatever is needed to get in their face..
Call me old fashioned but why should the UK tax payer foot the bill for his and it seems the other two involved who are looking to follow suit, why?
He's a well paid (until caught cheating) Pakistani national, why isn't he being made to apply to Pakistan for his legal aid, why does the UK get to foot his attempt to dodge the very obvious fraud him and his mates have been caught doing. I could be wrong but apparently the UK is in the grip of an economic downturn, huge cuts are being made across the board (except with the bloody thieving MP's) and everyone is struggling yet it looks like a couple of million plus could be wasted paying for these cricketers trying to dodge justice.
Are we mad??
Yes of course we are, this stupid country gives 445 MILLION in aid to Pakistan, one of the worlds top corrupt countries, do you really think any of that cash gets to poor people. You also have to ask WHY we give aid to countries yet the people in the UK are struggling for housing, homeless people roam the streets, well except in the London borough of Westminster where they are moved on and denied soup kitchens because they are an embarrassment to the local rich and elite, they can't have poor people mucking up the roads now can they. Why do we fund other countries when its clear charity should begin at home.
This week a member of the Christian church attacked the government for being 'anti Christian' with their aid policy because Pakistan is allowing the victimising of Christians by Muslims, people are being killed, churches are being destroyed and forced conversion to the Muslim religion are common place while Britain just looks on giving them aid packages. I personally follow no religion and wish they were banned but the fact we are pumping money into one of the worlds most radical Islamic cultures sickens me, especially as this same rotten culture is trying to over run the UK and remove our culture.
So the UK, why do you let these MP's give your money away, why do you sit back and watch this happen..
Get off your bums and make some noise, give your MP grief, write to the useless buggers, email them, do whatever is needed to get in their face..
Monday, 14 March 2011
Youth in general.
Call me old fashioned but I like to walk down the streets without some idiot spitting on the floor constantly, some group of idiots sat in the way getting off their skull on booze and or drugs. I don't like hearing the foul mouth of a young mother screaming like a banshee at their baby.
Are there no levels these yobs won't do?
I was brought up to say please and thank you, I am the sort of person who gives an elderly lady or a pregnant woman my seat on a bus or train, I'm the sort who open doors for people, ask old men and women if they need help but imagine my shock a couple of years ago when I was about to come home after seeing a friend and heard a thud only to see a poor old lady who had fell over, as I went to help her the fear was clear in her face, I slowly helped her up and calmly asked if she was ok, only then did she smile and told me she thought I was coming over to rob her or worse.
I simply could not believe what I had heard and chatted to her while helping her home, she had been mugged by teens on multiple times and simply trusted no one, it was a shock to me, I knew teens were bad but cowardly picking time and time on the same old lady?
My friend rang me that night and said he had bumped into the old lady later that day and she had told him how a nice man had helped her and he recognised it was me.
I know I'm going to hear people saying that these youths are bored, there's no jobs for them and there's no where to go.
WRONG...Fact, most simply don't want to work, why work when you can doss on the dole, get up when they like and do as little as possible. I know this because I've asked the youths around here, its no secret with them, very few of them have the wish to work and better themselves. As for them having no where to go, again its nonsense, my mate is a table tennis coach at a youth centre, the number of times the centre has been closed because these same youth have trashed it as a bit of fun, tried to burn it down or simply just go there to disrupt the lessons being given to others, these youths havea place but vandalising it is simply more fun than using it.
Bring back National Service I say, they might just learn respect, control, routine, and manners...
Are there no levels these yobs won't do?
I was brought up to say please and thank you, I am the sort of person who gives an elderly lady or a pregnant woman my seat on a bus or train, I'm the sort who open doors for people, ask old men and women if they need help but imagine my shock a couple of years ago when I was about to come home after seeing a friend and heard a thud only to see a poor old lady who had fell over, as I went to help her the fear was clear in her face, I slowly helped her up and calmly asked if she was ok, only then did she smile and told me she thought I was coming over to rob her or worse.
I simply could not believe what I had heard and chatted to her while helping her home, she had been mugged by teens on multiple times and simply trusted no one, it was a shock to me, I knew teens were bad but cowardly picking time and time on the same old lady?
My friend rang me that night and said he had bumped into the old lady later that day and she had told him how a nice man had helped her and he recognised it was me.
I know I'm going to hear people saying that these youths are bored, there's no jobs for them and there's no where to go.
WRONG...Fact, most simply don't want to work, why work when you can doss on the dole, get up when they like and do as little as possible. I know this because I've asked the youths around here, its no secret with them, very few of them have the wish to work and better themselves. As for them having no where to go, again its nonsense, my mate is a table tennis coach at a youth centre, the number of times the centre has been closed because these same youth have trashed it as a bit of fun, tried to burn it down or simply just go there to disrupt the lessons being given to others, these youths havea place but vandalising it is simply more fun than using it.
Bring back National Service I say, they might just learn respect, control, routine, and manners...
Its all so Radical these days!
Oh well, may as well kick off how I mean to carry on with an awkward topic that most shy away from in fear of being called 'racist' or 'hate monger', yes that old chestnut Radical Islam.
Here we are in the UK, trying to go on about our daily lives but can I go swimming tonight, sorry mate, it's Muslim womens night.
You what?
"Fraid so"
So I hear to shout, so what, it might have been women's night and you still could not have gone...
The point that's been missed is that there's actually no need to have a Muslim woman's night, by the Koran and NOT the rather foul rules made up by men in Saudi for their women, there's only need is to bath without the sight of men but somehow we have allowed area's to discriminate about bathing with people of a Western culture.
That's right Western ladies, you are too disgusting to bath with, please sort yourselves out pronto please, we can't be offending Radicals now can we?
In Australia one swimming pool is getting a grant to erect a plastic barrier so Muslim ladies can swim without being seen from the outside. Of course the grant is out of the tax payers money but here's the rub, the petition for the barrier was signed by just 9 women from the area and the cost of the barrier.....
Just a mere $45,000 dollars for 9 people and then there's the further annoyance that there are 2 other pools in close proximity that can provide the visual protection needed.
But enough tittle tattle from over the water, lets see what is happening here in the UK, my area is now ran almost exclusively by Somalian drug gangs, these lovely ladies and men ply their trade quite openly here and can be seen at other times going off to attend their Mosque, this being somewhat of a contradiction of the religion. We alo have pockets of Radical youths or 'idiots' as I call them, these bearded up loud mouths only a short time ago were normal teens who dressed and played quite happily in a Western way, there was no militant attitude from them and I used to chat with a few of them happily. Now, they are fully brain washed Radicals who chant offensive rhetoric at passers by and target mixed marriages like mine with their foul threats.
A lot of people just don't realise just how radicalised their area's are, not enough to seize control but enough to make our streets even more hard to walk down with being insulted. The way it works is that un skilled immigrants target countries, these radicals then colonise area's, many have no wish to contribute to the society they move in to, in fact they are actively asked to not work, claim as much as they can, make as much noise so that the 2nd tier of attack can happen. This 2nd tier are the more educated clerics and Imans that Saudi sends at great expense to these countries, they attach themselves to the political process while setting up groups in Mosques to brainwash the youth and spread the word while organising against the British.
Their plan and don't trust me, just watch Saudi TV for yourselves, their plan is to replace the existing culture with their, there's no ideals of co-existing, this is a plan to make these places Islamic states.
Another annoyance is the 3 types of Muslims :-
1. The normal hard working everyday person who has their beliefs in the Koran, they practise that belief but also happily integrate with others and mix with non believers, never forcing their views on others.
These are people like my in-laws, they came here in the 50's, worked their backsides off, they started with nothing but brought their house, rented rooms out while working every hour they could. They mixed with every one yet retained their religion.
2. The moderate Muslims, here's where its gets awkward for me, these people often claim to be modern well meaning people but I've seen so many sit there and smile while secretly shaking hands and making pacts with the radicals.
3. The worst offender, the fully blown Radical, now here's the real villain in all this, people not following the Koran as they love to make out, these are people following Saudi man made rules, rules that are often extremely violent, demeaning to women and just foul in most cases, these are the people who support Sharia law, a law so unjust its beyond belief. These people have a total hatred of the Western way of life, there's no cultural cohesion for them, its about putting Sharia up there and removing anyone else.
What I dislike are the cowards in the Muslim world who hide behind apparent beliefs to avoid naming these Radicals as un-Muslim, they use the excuse that a mortal man cannot judge another Muslim as only Allah can do that.
Utter cowardise, if you believe in your faith so much then you have the right to rise up and distance yourself from those making a mockery of it, but sadly they don't, they simply smile and let them get away with it.
But the worst offender that's not even a Radical Muslim is the middle class numpties that allow these people to abuse our ideals, threaten us and our culture, these people that allow them to have power where there should be none. These MP's and do-gooders spend their time actually making it easier for these people to carry out their foul ideals, these people allow us to feel ashamed to be British. These people allow our British way of life to be eroded while they play happy families with our future..
I don't follow religion, its been a horrible part of my life growing up, it left me fleeing Northern Ireland at the dead of night simply because of religion, I don't despise people who have what they term as 'faith', if having this faith make's you feel better then fine, personally I think religion is for people too frightened to stand up and run their own lives but each to their own, what I don't want is a 'faith' trying to change my life and culture.
People of Britain, be you black, white, yellow or brown, don't let people destroy your British culture, don't help politicians get away with stabbing us in the back, make your voices heard. I'm not asking you to join tasteless groups like the BNP or the EDL, just make your voices heard, give you MP's grief but lets not roll over and be robbed of our identity by anyone..
As Pat Condell would say...Peace.......
Here we are in the UK, trying to go on about our daily lives but can I go swimming tonight, sorry mate, it's Muslim womens night.
You what?
"Fraid so"
So I hear to shout, so what, it might have been women's night and you still could not have gone...
The point that's been missed is that there's actually no need to have a Muslim woman's night, by the Koran and NOT the rather foul rules made up by men in Saudi for their women, there's only need is to bath without the sight of men but somehow we have allowed area's to discriminate about bathing with people of a Western culture.
That's right Western ladies, you are too disgusting to bath with, please sort yourselves out pronto please, we can't be offending Radicals now can we?
In Australia one swimming pool is getting a grant to erect a plastic barrier so Muslim ladies can swim without being seen from the outside. Of course the grant is out of the tax payers money but here's the rub, the petition for the barrier was signed by just 9 women from the area and the cost of the barrier.....
Just a mere $45,000 dollars for 9 people and then there's the further annoyance that there are 2 other pools in close proximity that can provide the visual protection needed.
But enough tittle tattle from over the water, lets see what is happening here in the UK, my area is now ran almost exclusively by Somalian drug gangs, these lovely ladies and men ply their trade quite openly here and can be seen at other times going off to attend their Mosque, this being somewhat of a contradiction of the religion. We alo have pockets of Radical youths or 'idiots' as I call them, these bearded up loud mouths only a short time ago were normal teens who dressed and played quite happily in a Western way, there was no militant attitude from them and I used to chat with a few of them happily. Now, they are fully brain washed Radicals who chant offensive rhetoric at passers by and target mixed marriages like mine with their foul threats.
A lot of people just don't realise just how radicalised their area's are, not enough to seize control but enough to make our streets even more hard to walk down with being insulted. The way it works is that un skilled immigrants target countries, these radicals then colonise area's, many have no wish to contribute to the society they move in to, in fact they are actively asked to not work, claim as much as they can, make as much noise so that the 2nd tier of attack can happen. This 2nd tier are the more educated clerics and Imans that Saudi sends at great expense to these countries, they attach themselves to the political process while setting up groups in Mosques to brainwash the youth and spread the word while organising against the British.
Their plan and don't trust me, just watch Saudi TV for yourselves, their plan is to replace the existing culture with their, there's no ideals of co-existing, this is a plan to make these places Islamic states.
Another annoyance is the 3 types of Muslims :-
1. The normal hard working everyday person who has their beliefs in the Koran, they practise that belief but also happily integrate with others and mix with non believers, never forcing their views on others.
These are people like my in-laws, they came here in the 50's, worked their backsides off, they started with nothing but brought their house, rented rooms out while working every hour they could. They mixed with every one yet retained their religion.
2. The moderate Muslims, here's where its gets awkward for me, these people often claim to be modern well meaning people but I've seen so many sit there and smile while secretly shaking hands and making pacts with the radicals.
3. The worst offender, the fully blown Radical, now here's the real villain in all this, people not following the Koran as they love to make out, these are people following Saudi man made rules, rules that are often extremely violent, demeaning to women and just foul in most cases, these are the people who support Sharia law, a law so unjust its beyond belief. These people have a total hatred of the Western way of life, there's no cultural cohesion for them, its about putting Sharia up there and removing anyone else.
What I dislike are the cowards in the Muslim world who hide behind apparent beliefs to avoid naming these Radicals as un-Muslim, they use the excuse that a mortal man cannot judge another Muslim as only Allah can do that.
Utter cowardise, if you believe in your faith so much then you have the right to rise up and distance yourself from those making a mockery of it, but sadly they don't, they simply smile and let them get away with it.
But the worst offender that's not even a Radical Muslim is the middle class numpties that allow these people to abuse our ideals, threaten us and our culture, these people that allow them to have power where there should be none. These MP's and do-gooders spend their time actually making it easier for these people to carry out their foul ideals, these people allow us to feel ashamed to be British. These people allow our British way of life to be eroded while they play happy families with our future..
I don't follow religion, its been a horrible part of my life growing up, it left me fleeing Northern Ireland at the dead of night simply because of religion, I don't despise people who have what they term as 'faith', if having this faith make's you feel better then fine, personally I think religion is for people too frightened to stand up and run their own lives but each to their own, what I don't want is a 'faith' trying to change my life and culture.
People of Britain, be you black, white, yellow or brown, don't let people destroy your British culture, don't help politicians get away with stabbing us in the back, make your voices heard. I'm not asking you to join tasteless groups like the BNP or the EDL, just make your voices heard, give you MP's grief but lets not roll over and be robbed of our identity by anyone..
As Pat Condell would say...Peace.......
Sunday, 13 March 2011
A welcome to my mad world..
The worlds a funny place they say, it can be but often is less than that.
My little blog is my way of letting off a bit of steam, letting people hear my often different look on life and the world around me.
Just for the record I'm a 49 year old married dad with a lovely wife and daughter, I'm classed as unfit for work as I suffer from arthritis in my spine, blown knee's and severe depression which requires a huge bowl of meds to keep it all under control..Well mostly...
I live on a rather bad council estate (is there a good estate?) but I try to keep it as clean and quiet as possible, that's made me very unpopular with some, and very popular with others.
I don't suffer fools easily and have strong views on many subjects which will become obvious as I add to the blog, I can't promise I won't offend some but I will be honest and as fair as I can be with those that read here.
Until later...
My little blog is my way of letting off a bit of steam, letting people hear my often different look on life and the world around me.
Just for the record I'm a 49 year old married dad with a lovely wife and daughter, I'm classed as unfit for work as I suffer from arthritis in my spine, blown knee's and severe depression which requires a huge bowl of meds to keep it all under control..Well mostly...
I live on a rather bad council estate (is there a good estate?) but I try to keep it as clean and quiet as possible, that's made me very unpopular with some, and very popular with others.
I don't suffer fools easily and have strong views on many subjects which will become obvious as I add to the blog, I can't promise I won't offend some but I will be honest and as fair as I can be with those that read here.
Until later...
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